Muck

I like cute-creative Halloween. Not ghosty-ghouly-gorey Halloween.

Like the year Tween dressed as a skeleton on Hawaiian vacation: skeleton costume plus grass skirt with Mardi Gras beads and puka shells topped with a straw hat. Cute, creative, and made us all laugh.

As I walk the dog through decked out neighborhoods, I continually avert my eyes to the dog, to my own plodding feet, to avoid the grossing-me-out décor. Pumpkins and hay bales, all good. Severed bloody limbs hanging from trees? No way.

I do the same with social media and news reports, which these days seem about the same. But even as I ignore insensitive comments, I can’t help arguing with them in my head. Did they read or hear the same info I did? Then how in the world did we come to such different conclusions?

How in the world, indeed. How in the world…

The other day I heard someone comment that we’ve had a bad week, oh, for about a year now.

Yes. That feels spot on.

As that comment ricocheted around my brain, I recognized that I feel increasingly, steadily, angry. Naturally an optimist, I seem to have lost myself, as I can’t find much about which to be optimistic.

I hate how noisy the world has become, with everyone shouting at one another. Not only disagreeing—never mind agreeing to disagree—but hating on one another.

Here’s what I hate:

I hate that our country’s issues have piled up like bricks in a wall, with friends and family members on either side hurling invective and brandishing pitch forks.

I hate that those with power refuse to even listen to those without power, as if they don’t have a right to an opinion, or their own perspective based on their own experience. Nope, they’re just wrong.

I hate the struggle to defend myself as a woman working in a man’s world. And the apparent inability of men to see that that is my experience. (And if I feel this way, as a white, middle class working woman, I truly cannot even begin to imagine what it’s like to be someone without as much privilege.)

I hate that life can be so hard, that people I love hurt so much for so many reasons and there is little I can do about it.

In so many ways, I feel stuck. Like one of our favorite children’s books, I’m one duck stuck in the muck and I want to cry, “Help, help, who can help?”

But I don’t cry, because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of sounding ridiculously needy. I’m afraid of being that vulnerable. I’m afraid of being accused of losing the faith, of being faithless. I’m afraid I won’t hear the right response, “We can, we can!” I’m afraid we’re all stuck in this muck.

I had a conversation yesterday about the title of my blog, “Miracles in the Mundane,” that there truly are bright, sparkly miracles in everyday life if we open our eyes to see them.

I still believe that. I do.

It’s just harder to find miracles in the muck. So, tired as I feel already, I must keep digging.

Maybe we should all try. Put down our burdens and instead start digging and looking for miracles. Because, honestly, that would be the best help.

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Taco Tuesday

“Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now…”
–from Hamilton

I didn’t sleep well last night. Having put myself to bed at a reasonable hour, I spun in fitful sheet-tangles trying to find that just-right bodily pose that would release my mind to dreamland. But dreamland itself proved fitful, with vividly distressing dreams from which I woke-wide around 4 am. I finally fell back asleep, hard, just in time to greet this groggy day.

Somewhere in the night, as the stress bogeys pressed in hot and heavy, my brain produced this lovely, lilting line from Hamilton as a prayerful antidote. It played on a loop and stays with me today.

How lucky indeed.

I have not been a political person. In part because I don’t like conflict, but also because I generally don’t feel confident to speak on political issues. My heart directs me toward encouragement rather than confrontation.

I didn’t sleep in part because I haven’t been writing. I haven’t been writing because I don’t know what to say in light of all the literal and figurative whirlwinds decimating our beautiful world.

The kettle cannot contain the steam, so here blows:

Gun control laws need immediate and serious revision. Private citizens of sound mind who have passed a background check may have their guns, but private citizens don’t need silencers and automatic weapons.

Puerto Ricans are Americans struggling for survival and need all the help the U.S. can provide. If you would expect your country to help you in time of disaster, then you should demand as much for them.

Kneeling is a peaceful and prayerful pose. Kaepernick et al. aren’t protesting the flag but police violence against people of color. They aren’t disrespecting the military or our country but using their First Amendment freedom and position of power to shine a spotlight on injustice. Like Jesus, who used His power to get down in the dirt with those who suffered injustice.

Global Warming is not fake news but a scientifically proven reality, and the EPA and our National Parks need protection.

Giving tax cuts to the rich and stripping health care from the poor makes no sense.

We need bridges more than walls, and taco trucks on every corner would be down-right delicious.

October 4 is National Taco Day, and I strongly recommend you try my new fav taco recipe.

The original recipe comes from a partnership between the Sarno brothers at Wicked Healthy and Purple Carrot, a plant-powered meal prep company. I first heard about Chef Chad Sarno through UC Davis Department of Integrative Medicine (follow their blog for great information about nutrition and plant-based eating). And friends have shared rave reviews of Purple Carrot. Though I don’t need a meal prep service at this point, I am grateful that they are willing to share their recipes.

For the original recipe they made tostadas with mango salsa. I dropped the salsa and added jalapeno; and tostadas or soft or crispy tacos, any way you serve it, this recipe = delish!

Lentil Fajita Tacos
Serves 4

1 c red lentils
2 1/2 c water
8 corn tortillas or taco shells
1 large yellow or red onion, thinly sliced
8-10 garlic cloves, minced
2 bell peppers, thinly sliced
1 jalapeno, seeded and diced
1 lime, juiced
2 avocados, diced
fresh chopped cilantro
green cabbage or iceberg lettuce, chopped 

Combine lentils and water in a saucepan. Bring to a boil, cover, and reduce heat to low until water has been absorbed, about 14-17 minutes. The lentils should become soft and porridge-like. If necessary, use a potato masher or fork to mash them, and stir in the lime juice.

If you’re making tostadas, preheat the oven to 400 and toast tortillas for 10-12 minutes.

In a large skillet, saute onions for 3 minutes. Add garlic, bell peppers, and jalapeno and continue cooking, stirring occasionally, for another 5-10 minutes until veggies are soft and carmelized.

To serve, add lentils to tortillas or taco shells and top with fajita veggies, cabbage/lettuce, avocado, and cilantro.

If you have lentils left over, reheat with a drizzle of oil and more lime juice.

We are indeed lucky to be alive and, look around, we are alive right now. Let’s eat more tacos, kiss one another’s boo boos, love and protect each other and our world, and do something each day to make life on earth a better place for everyone.

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August-September 2017 Reading

“I knew it was true that I had stalled again on my writing. For once, I was too caught up with actually living my life to stop and turn it into words. People like Lawrie–who never wrote a single line of prose, as far as I knew–seemed to want those who did to walk around with a pad and pencil hanging round their neck, jotting down the whole thing, turning it into a book for their own pleasure” (Odelle Bastien from The Muse, by Jessie Burton, pp. 364-365).

I haven’t been on the blog much. As Odelle observes, I have stalled, too busy living to turn my life into words. I have been loving and serving my family; whitewater rafting; hosting a dessert and drive-in party for the neighborhood; working my tail off at two completely different jobs; meeting one of my favorite actresses and an influential world-changer in one week’s time; walking the dog and practicing yoga; meeting friends for yoga or coffee; with adequate sleep thrown in for healthy measure.

I haven’t even been reading as much as usual. Occasionally when I realize I’m not writing, I suspect that the words bottling up in my mind and soul preclude the input of additional words. I have started-and-stopped on several posts, not sure how to articulate my perspective on what I see in the world around me. Some thoughts, some posts, take more time to marinate before they’re ready for consumption. Some may never be ready.

But I have read a few books. Constantly adding to my reading queue, I laugh at how books come to me sharing things in common. This time, I had three books about women not working for various reasons and three about unusually gifted young girls. Several books that were fine for the time, and two five-star books that will rank among my favorites for this year, and likely beyond.

The Good Girl's Guide to Getting Lost: A Memoir of Three Continents, Two Friends, and One Unexpected AdventureThe Good Girl’s Guide to Getting Lost: A Memoir of Three Continents, Two Friends, and One Unexpected Adventure by Rachel Friedman
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

When music school doesn’t pan out as anticipated, when the English degree seems to lead nowhere specific, Rachel takes off: first for a summer in Ireland before finishing college, and then for the world post-graduation.

I finished the book, but sometimes felt a little bored by it. She meant it to be funnier and deeper than it was. Without the humor or timeless epiphanies, it sometimes read like a young woman’s travel journal with so-so interest. I’d rather go on my own travels than read about hers, especially in some places I’d never plan to visit.

Still, there were some highlights. Like the interesting reality that the American system works against travel culture among young people; with our high cost of education and health care, kids need to get solid, paying jobs ASAP.

Or the realization we all need, better achieved early on: “I imagine the people whose lives are most intertwined with mine, and I realize life has gone on without me. The planet has not imploded because I, the girl who has always done what is expected of her, decided not to, just this once” (16).

Or this, one of the perks of travel: “Maybe this is what travel gives you–or gives you back, in most cases–that childlike sense of wonder, and with it a kid-style openness where you want to finger-paint with anyone and everyone who shows up. Maybe it’s because people are in such an open state, on the road ready to absorb all the experiences and strangers that come their way, like we did when we were little” (157).

Not WorkingNot Working by Lisa Owens
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Bridget Jones, minus the razor-sharp wit, minus the job (obviously), plus the ever-patient Mr Darcy of her life, plus a strongly (strangely) off-putting conflict with her mum.

Claire has quit her job to “find herself.” She wants to do something truly meaningful, but has no idea what that is nor any plan to figure it out. Her family is daft, her boyfriend is beyond gracious, she is unorganized and obnoxious most of the time.

I wanted to like this book. The titled vignettes, snapshots of Claire’s life, are sometimes pithy, sometimes nonsensical. I sometimes felt entirely bored at the whining and wine-ing all the while she ought to get on with something. Sometimes I identified a little too much, and that annoyed too, but mostly she kinda bugged me.

And then it ended. She had a drunken epiphany that made sense and didn’t solve the issue At All and yet it’s over?

I really wanted more from the Buddleia. BTW, if you’re American, Buddleia is called Butterfly Bush (Google it!), and it’s really quite lovely, although I’m certain it ate into our septic system.

Counting by 7sCounting by 7s by Holly Goldberg Sloan
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I love love love this book! I laughed, cried, read passages aloud to my husband… A unique child who faces more tragedy in her few years on Earth than most experience in a long lifetime manages to unintentionally create a new family around her just by being herself. Willow is inspirational, and I might just plant a sunflower forest in my backyard because of her.

A Mango-Shaped SpaceA Mango-Shaped Space by Wendy Mass
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Mia is a synesthete, meaning she was born with the ability to ‘see’ colors associated with letters, numbers, names, and sounds. That Mass has taken a little-known condition and embodied it for young people in a relatable way–at a time of life when everyone feels different and no one wants to feel different–is helpful. The descriptions of Mia’s colors makes me jealous, TBH. But the story dragged for me. Not sure why, as overall it was mostly a good book.

My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She's SorryMy Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry by Fredrik Backman
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I LOVE THIS BOOK!

I recently reviewed all the titles I’ve read in the eight months of 2017, and was surprised that there weren’t more I felt over-the-top about. Here it is.

This book is a testament to the power of stories. Art imitating life and life drawing on the power of art. I have read Backman’s other books this year, and truly enjoyed them, but this one… This one is special.

“Elsa had been very afraid that night, and she had asked Granny what they would do if one day their world crumbled around them.
“And then Granny had squeezed her forefingers hard and replied, ‘Then we do what everyone does, we do everything we can.’ Elsa had crept up into her lap and asked: ‘But what can we do?’ And then Granny had kissed her hair and held her hard, hard, hard and whispered: ‘We pick up as many children as we can carry, and we run as fast as we can.'” (p132)

“Elsa remembers how Granny said that ‘the best stories are never completely realistic and never entirely made-up.’ That was what Granny meant when she called certain things ‘reality-challenged.’ To Granny, there was nothing that was entirely one thing or another. Stories were completely for real and at the same time not.” (p171)

“…Elsa decides that even if people she likes have been shits on earlier occasions, she has to learn to carry on liking them. You’d quickly run out of people if you had to disqualify all those who at some point have been shits. She thinks that this will have to be the moral of this story. Christmas stories are supposed to have morals.” (p315)

And happy endings. Christmas stories are supposed to have happy endings. And this one does.

Love Water MemoryLove Water Memory by Jennie Shortridge
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Well, if this isn’t an allegory in the necessity of mental healthcare… Very readable, I picked it up with some trepidation that it would be cliche. It wasn’t. It touched on real and raw emotions, on the nature of personhood and personality. On love and relationships, friendships and family and neighborliness.

Who would you become if you could start over with a mostly blank slate? Interesting to consider…

Good book, not great. Would have benefited from another editorial pass, but still, engaging and quick.

Humble. Yoga. Go!

Friends opened a yoga studio and invited me to try it.

I’d never tried yoga and, other than mandatory (despised, humiliating) PE classes all the way through college and some neon jazzercise in the late-80’s/early-90’s, group exercise—team or class—hasn’t been my thing.

To be honest, exercise hasn’t been my thing. I’m branching out in middle age! (Literally: tree pose, growing branches)

I would have chickened out, but I bumped into my friend. She looked at me, pointed dramatically, and declared: “YOU! It’s time!”

I went. I loved it.

Because my son took a year of yoga in high school, I had heard that final savasana (lying flat on your back as in sleep) is supposedly the hardest yoga pose. Seriously, what’s so hard about lying still?

Proud of myself for making it through an hour of yoga, I was surprised when my yogi-friend grabbed my foot, then lifted, wiggled and pulled on one leg and then the other. I realized: I didn’t even know how to properly lie still. My body had been holding in stress and my legs weren’t fully stretched out. Talk about humbling…

At the end of class, I gulped one big sob: I had found a form of exercise that could unite body, mind, and spirit. Through this practice, hard and humbling as it might be, I could physically practice the greatest commandment: to love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul, strength, and mind.

Though my body ached, I had to go back. This time, I couldn’t keep still during final savasana as sobs shook my shoulders. Yoga tapped so deeply into my inner being that I felt like I should go home and journal. I knew I needed more yoga in my life.

One of my favorite things about this studio: humility is built into its name. Humble Yoga. As a total newbie, I have no choice but to enter in with humility. And when I wiggle or shake or fall flat on my rear, I laugh at myself. No judgment, always options to modify, and at least I’m trying! (One of our yogis said, “Oh, you just laugh all the time!” With humility I agreed, and laughter is good for the soul).

Another favorite thing about yoga: what I learn on the mat applies to life off the mat. Listen to these phrases I hear in most classes:

What is your intention?
Where is your foundation?
Ground down.
Inhale your intention. Exhale, commit a little deeper.
Engage your core.
Notice your body. Release any feelings of tension.
Grow tall through your crown.
Drop your shoulders.
Find your edge. Breathe through your edge.
Relax your face.
Shake it out.
Find your active pose.
Find something new in each familiar pose.
Gaze up.
Find a focal point.
Are you still breathing?
Option to modify.
Come back to your breath. Come back to your intention.
Give yourself a gentle squeeze.
This is your practice.

I’m sure you can imagine countless scenarios where those phrases would be helpful advice… In a tense work meeting, or conversation with a neighbor, spouse, or grumpy teenager. Any time life feels challenging. Any time you feel stumped or stifled. Any time you feel run down or discouraged. Any time you need a gentle nudge towards growth. How many times off the mat have I reminded myself to notice my body, to remember my intention, to relax my face and drop my shoulders, and just breathe?

Yoga reminds me to be present to this moment. This breath. This stretch. To breathe into the pain or pleasure of this moment without anticipating what will come next. Whatever’s next will surely come, and I will breathe into that moment as it comes, but this is Now. We can do hard things if we are present to what each moment requires and remember to keep breathing.

We do together what we would not do alone. I still walk or run most days in between yoga work outs, but yoga pushes me in ways I wouldn’t push myself. And in the studio I make new friends and connect in new ways with people I’ve known for years. In the studio we build community within our community, and it will strengthen the community beyond its doors.

Currently, my goal is to go 2-4 days a week; eventually that will become 3-5 days a week as I get stronger and ache less between. Still, even the aches remind me to breathe; that I have done and will do hard things; to be intentional.

I may not have a “yoga body,” but this body does yoga.
I am not strong. I am growing stronger.
I am stronger than I was. I will grow stronger still.

With practice.

[Yoga with me! gohumbleyoga.com]

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Phoenix

It can be hard to find beauty as you walk in the wasteland… And some days, seasons, in our lives feel just like that: devoid of beauty, wasted, bleak. But there is hope, friends, always hope. My friend Kristi reminds us to look to the phoenix. Grieve the losses, yes, but look for the new arising from the old.

re:create recess #18: Kristi Grover

Phoenix: a beautiful mythological bird resembling an eagle. It burns to death at the end of its life cycle…and from the ashes another phoenix arises.

As a young child I was absolutely fascinated by the phoenix myth I encountered through story. As an adult I continue to be intrigued by the imagery. I can look back over my life and clearly see many parallels when I consider various eras, relationships, and energies as they emerged, blossomed, and later flamed out—some slowly and quietly and others in a sudden whoosh of flame, leaving behind only ashes.

Yet, each time, those ashes held the promise of re-creation. Ashes are, after all, soil for new growth. They may appear to be a dull, gritty waste but they are in fact rich with nutrients and conducive to vibrant new life. Re-creation.

In the story I read as a child the protagonist is a young boy who has experienced a series of losses. He is lonely, suddenly living in an unfamiliar place, and not clear about what to do next. He strikes out on a solitary, aimless ramble in the woods and comes across a tiny phoenix emerging from what looks like a campfire. They become friends and share wondrous adventures until one day when the phoenix disappears.

The boy’s search for his trusted companion leads him eventually to the same place they first met. He witnesses the flames engulfing his dear friend, and grieves as he accepts that their time together has ended. Eventually he gathers himself to leave until a small sound causes him to look back and he sees a tiny new phoenix emerging from the ashes. Suddenly there is hope and the promise of new adventures.

In my life I have seen this pattern repeat in various ways. A good friend moves away or some other change causes the end of a once close relationship. A dearly loved family member dies. A move severs connection on many levels. A health challenge suddenly arises which effectively closes off meaningful work.

Even good, happily anticipated changes hold some significant loss. I was overjoyed as I anticipated being married to my beloved one, yet also privately needed to grieve significant losses as my life changed quite dramatically. As my children grew into maturity and moved off into lives with their own families, friends, and work, I could rejoice in the new beauty I saw as they grew into the promise of early years, yet there was also bittersweet acknowledgement that a precious window of time closed—family life on this particular level. What helped me in these times, and others like them, was knowing that a new era of life would open up eventually with its own extraordinary beauty.

Each time I needed to accept the change, grieve what was lost, and honor memories. And then I needed to wait patiently until it was time for a new beginning. As a woman of faith, I needed to trust that God was working things out in ways beyond my understanding and that He would bring into my life new relationships, work, or insights which would open the way to new adventures in my life journey with Him.

It is hard to wait, harder still to wait in hope with an open, trusting heart. I have often thought at such times of the answer I would give to young children in my care when, school day over, they waited while all the other children were picked up by a parent or led off to another activity. “When is my mom coming?” they would ask, sometimes with tears. And my answer would always be, “She’ll be here at just the right time.” For young children, waiting is very hard, even agonizing.

Even a two-minute delay feels like forever when everyone else has someone to be with or something wonderful to do. But Mom or Dad or Nanny or Grandparent always did show up eventually and they’d embark on new adventures together, grief eclipsed by the promise of excitement ahead.

In my “wisdom years” now, I’ve lived with chronic pain, cancer, tough challenges to my marriage, deep concerns for my children’s safety as they headed off time and again into dangerous places to do the work they believed God had called them to do, the end of relationships with various family members and friends due to death, moves, changes in work, and many other challenges.

Each loss has needed a time of grieving: remembering the good and trying to learn from the difficult. And always, always, at just the right time—not necessarily the time I would choose but the right time—new opportunities, new challenges, new relationships have emerged. I am given the opportunity to be “re-created” once more. The ashes of loss are real but the promise of new adventures ahead is also real.

I will choose to both honor the beauty of what is gone and welcome the beauty of what lies ahead.

some things that are true about me

My work in life is as a teacher and storyteller.  I take joy in many things – time spent with children and my family and friends, working in various ways for justice, hiking along high mountain ridge lines and walking in the woods and sitting quietly to stare at the ocean, hearing people share their life stories and affirming them, writing and reading, rainy afternoons by the fire with my small grey cat, listening to music and singing and dancing, intelligent conversation and laughter, making a home.  These and other things are true about me but the truest thing is that I am a child of God.

 

Thankful Thursday – Fall Blooms

About this time six years ago, a few weeks into Tween’s second grade year, his teacher found me admiring bulletin boards in the breezeway.

She said, “Hey, can you give me a tip? Tween doesn’t seem to realize he’s in school.”

I immediately replied, “Oh, give him some time. He’ll realize it’s no longer summer by, let’s say, Thanksgiving.”

I wasn’t joking, but let’s all take a quick moment to imagine her dramatic eye roll…

(In my defense, c’mon, this is California! With the amazing weather, he was in the pool weekends and after school until Halloween…!)

After I’d spoken the words aloud, I realized their truth deep in my being: not only does Tween transition slowly, but our whole family stinks at transitions.

You may see us going through the motions. We may be in the right place at (mostly) the right times, getting things done. But that doesn’t mean we’re organized, on top of things, present to the moment. We may–or may not–be any of those things, depending on the hour, day, week, minute…

Six years and so many transitions post-epiphany, you’d think we’d know to anticipate our bad transitions. You’d think wrong, my friend. Oh no, every time, whatever season, we find ourselves once again thigh-deep in the muck, repeating for the umpteenth time: “Oh, yah, transitions…”

And again, and again, and painful as each one of us has to come to our own conclusions about how we individually and as a family are weathering the current storm.

Locally and globally, we have had a weird-weather fall. In NorCal, we’ve had record-breaking heat (115 should not happen here!), followed by mellow days, then more heat with thunder and lightening storms, now wind and my allergies are threatening to do me in. Still, I’ll take it over the storms that hit Houston, the Caribbean and Florida, or the earthquake in Mexico.

Then, this:

These fantastic flowers burst forth in my front yard. The pink one is the size of a face!

My soul stills in wonder at their beauty, and I remember that all things bloom in their time, in their season.

Including me, us, this family.

Due to date miscommunication-confusion, a friend showed up when I wasn’t at home. She left flowers. Cut flowers from plants I’d purchased for her, that she planted, that continue to thrive. The gift keeps on giving, flowers and friendship keep blooming.

Nine days ago I noticed my gratitude journal, forlornly forgotten in this transition-season; I jotted some thanksgivings, and promptly forgot it again. Today I tucked in a print-out of a poem, shared by a friend and meaningful in this time. I will add more personal items tonight. I need gratitude, especially now when transition makes discipline difficult.

Banksy recently posted on Twitter: “The only thing making you unhappy are your own thoughts. Change them.”

And with our dear St. Anne and the communion of saints we pray: Help, Thanks, Wow!

Any one of us might point to demanding circumstances, taxing days and long hard nights, excuses all–many understandably so!–for being unhappy. Thanks changes our thoughts. It keeps us in the now, present to the moment whatever the feels it holds, and gently/forcefully unfolds in time an as-necessary different perspective.

Let’s give thanks for the season, for its unfolding, its blooming, for the unpredictable beauty here and yet-coming.

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Forward

Oh friends, how I have needed the words and wisdom of this post…! Even for those who don’t think of themselves as Creatives, our very lives are adventures we have the privilege to create. Ann yearns to cheer-lead and encourage, and I’m certain others also need the cool refreshment she’s offering, the gentle nudge to keep going. Let’s keep moving forward, stronger for moving forward together.

re:create recess #17: Ann McDonald

Forward.

I’m soul stirred by the concept of inhabiting forward motion lately.

Truth? I’m not even sure I know what that means, but it feels like the daily practice of choosing to leave yesterday completely behind so today and tomorrow can actually be new…

…new places and spaces where creating is fresh, not simply re-purposed from what we’ve always done.

There is this holy unrest in me to move forward. To see what is possible.

We’ve got something else to build, you and I.

It’s not time to settle in and get small.

The concept of soul-downsizing offends me, as I see some of my acquaintances fold up hope and shrink back in fear. Considering their ideas and dreams old and of no use…they call it wisdom. But it feels more like embarrassment or self-judgment…that comes not from God, not from love.

I believe our best upsized soul days are ahead. Let’s walk those days out together, you and I. It isn’t exit stage left just yet…no matter what age or cycle.

My heart yearns to cheer-lead and encourage in this season.

To remind us we’ve got something never before seen inside of us that wants to be created and come out.

Jesus came to give us abundant life and there is a piece of abundance that includes more.

It’s the “lying one” that came to steal, kill and destroy.

If our thoughts start to steal hope in us, they need to go.

If our dreams start to kill the blessing of prosperity, they need to go.

If our imaginations turn destructive, they must bow to the name of Jesus…and find, in that name, grace for hope in today and most certainly, tomorrow.

Everywhere I turn, my heart burns to lift our collective countenance.

To empower us to the next heap of joy. Not sappy happy, but deeply seeded, “heaven is actually real and it wants to break in on our every-day” kind of joy.

There is this piece of me that yearns to stand on the park bench and get my Berkeley preacher girl on:

“Take the music lessons at 80”
“Learn to ride the horse at 70”
“I heard about this couple named Sarah and Abraham who had a family after 90….”
“Build the idea you’re afraid of into an abundantly prosperous business at 30 – 60 – 100”
“Start an orphanage”
“Bring water to a village”

Why? Because we can’t create those things from a place of downsizing in our soul. They must come from a place of hope and courage. Those things come from abundance…

“Write the book”
“Write the book”
“Write the book!”

Why? Because you may not see yourself as an author, but heaven knows you as one…and time is waning, the veil is thinning…

As I see it, we humans are a resilient and marvelous bunch. Every single one, created by God with something great inside, but we must steward our part forward.

It’s not easy, but sometimes it is. Sometimes there is grace for today to forget and forgive ourselves so we can live our best fearless day with dreams abandoned to the impossible becoming possible…

This is my re:create cry in this season.

Re:create what is impossible without God.

Try.

And so this holy unrest in me to move forward. To build something new. To be something I’ve never been.

Forward. Upsized. In spirit, soul and vision.

Stretch our tent pegs to the right and to the left.

Every day we get a new chance. Every day. Every day we set the coffee and pour a cup for Jesus, convinced at some point He will, in fact, show up to drink.

What is our everyday hope? Do we still have one? Can we even find one in all the noise?

What is our tomorrow dream?

Don’t downsize your soul and fold it up because it feels hard or heavy.

Turn on the lights at home. Buy a new pillow. Have a dinner party. Have a dance party. Host a prayer group that keeps the music on and the feet walking while the prayers ascend…

So many questions I know, but for the Creative, questions stir life.

There must be unanswered questions that move our soul into places in glory we’ve dared to dream of…

For today, let the spaces and places you inhabit move you forward…not hold you back.

And here dear one, is our collective key: the doors only open forward…

Xo – Ann

Creative Ann McDonald has been designing spaces & places and enterprises from ideas for over 30 years. Having lived & worked in New York City, Beverly Hills and now the San Francisco Bay Area, she exists to empower people to do great things. Ann believes joy is strength and if God said it, it must be true…even when we can’t see it just yet. Her Idea to Implementation curriculum is part of the 7 Mountain Message, she mentors Kingdom Entrepreneurs & equips people to create prosperity from ideas.

She and her husband Patrick have recently co-created a new health minded endeavor, Forwardshape™, set to launch Fall 2017. The purpose of Forwardshape™ is to empower a multi-generational movement away from shame, regret, unbelief and unforgiveness into joy, peace and righteousness in the everyday. To join the movement free of charge prior to launch, visit www.forwardshape.com.